I feel like most of my life I have done what others expected from me even if it went against what my heart wanted for myself…. At 42 I will no longer choose my path based on what others think I should do, say or be. Of course, I love my loved ones and I respect their opinions but at this point in my life, I want (and need) to be true to myself.
I married young and spent more than a decade married to a man who was quite often condescending to me. I allowed him to to make all of our most important life choices. Even when my heart tugged me to a different choice, I allowed him to choose the path of our lives.
When he left me and my children because of an affair with one of his fellow officers, I was crushed but did not give myself enough time to truly heal. I didn’t allow myself to open my own heart to my expectations. I remarried too soon thinking that was what was expected of me… I couldn’t see that I matter on my own and not only as part of a “team”…
I’ve been on my own now for awhile and I’ve come to realize that the truth of the matter is we need to follow our hearts— whether in a relationship or not. For the first time in my 42 years, I am truly happy. Not everyday is filled with sunshine and roses… I have my fair share of troubles and trials, but I am happy. I am content with my heart. I have hopes, dreams and goals that bring me joy and give me purpose. I am happy for those around me that have found happiness with themselves and a life partner, but as for me…. I choose me. And that makes me Happy.